


little pistol

by fullmetalscully



Series: Royai Week 2020 [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, F/M, Ishbal | Ishval, Ishval Civil War, Royai - Freeform, Song fic, mature themes, riza realises what's happening in the war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:14:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24623794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmetalscully/pseuds/fullmetalscully
Summary: royai week 2020 - day 2: little pistol, mother motherroy and riza have an uncomfortable conversation regarding what has happened in the ishvalan civil war, and their next steps
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Series: Royai Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778677
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	little pistol

**_Up on my side, where it is felt_ **

**_I pack a little pistol on my pistol belt_ **

**_I think it might be fear_ **

**_Of the world and the way it makes you feel afraid_ **

****

**_Under the skin, against the skull_ **

**_They put a little chip so that they know it all_ **

**_I think I might be scared_ **

**_Of the world and the way it makes you feel afraid_ **

**_And how it gets in the way_ **

Riza’s hand shook as she holstered her pistol. It was a backup in case she was subjected to close combat. Her party was moving out in less than half an hour.

The rustling of the tent behind her caused her pause. Exhaling softly, Riza’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment. She didn’t even need to look to see who it was. She just _knew_. She knew he’d come. A part of her wished he didn’t. If he did, then that meant she was right, and god, Riza did _not_ want to be right about this.

“It’s not just a war, is it?” she whispered to the room.

Silence. She steeled herself for the answer, _praying_ she was wrong in her conclusion.

“It’s not.”

“Extermination campaign,” Riza whispered, sounding the words out. It sounded awful. She hated it. It left a bad taste in her mouth.

“Yes,” Roy Mustang whispered. “It is.”

A shaky breath left her. Eyes fluttered closed once more as she composed herself. _Tears of horror later_ , she told herself.

She hadn’t turned to face him yet. It wasn’t that she couldn’t bear to. No, she didn’t want to because if she did, she’d come undone. Roy had always been the one capable to see right through her and make her break. She had no one left, either. Roy Mustang was all she had, and it may kill her to see the look on his face, because he was already aware of what was _really_ going on here in the war. He’d come to that conclusion before her.

“You figured it out.”

It wasn’t spoken like a question, but Riza needed to confirm it for him. She nodded. “I did.”

**_And now I want brimstone in my garden_ **

**_I want roses set on fire_ **

**_And I, well I want what's best for me_ **

**_And I, I think I know just what that means_ **

**_Just what that means_ **

****

**_Today I coo, today I caw_ **

**_I have a pistol party and I kill 'em all_ **

**_I think I might be scared_ **

**_Of the man and the men with their hands inside_ **

**_And the women, oh, the women all they do is cry_ **

**_And I, well I lose my mind_ **

Riza turned slowly. Uncertainty had pooled in her stomach, then it turned to dread. In the lamplight in her tent his features were much sharper. He looked thinner. Roy looked like a ghost, a shell of the boy he’d once been. The war was weighing on him heavily and Riza was sympathetic. She wasn’t much better than him, but at least she wasn’t razing towns overnight. He was reigning fire and brimstone down upon their enemies thanks to their superiors. The “Hero if Ishval” they called him. Riza _despised_ it, and she was quite sure he did too.

“You’re going to fight?” she asked.

Roy nodded slowly. “I am. Hughes is in too.”

“Count me in.”

Determination burned in her veins. She was ready, especially after seeing what they’d turned her best friend into. The dark circles under his eyes and the haunted look in his eyes matched hers and would be burned into her memory forever. She’d use it to fuel her against them. It would be what they deserved.

“Are you sure?”

Her eyes flashed angrily. How could he ask her that? Her mouth opened to protest, but Roy quickly approached, hands up in surrender and in peace. He’d recognised the look in her eyes.

“That’s not what I meant,” he reassured her frantically. “Sorry. I just… I need to be sure.” His eyes were cast downwards. “I’m surprised you haven’t turned and ran after all you’ve seen.”

“We look out for each other,” she replied. It was a call back to a promise they’d made years ago as kids. Roy’s head jerked up in surprise. “Right?” she prompted.

“Right,” Roy agreed quietly, letting out a long and loud breath.

**_And now I found brimstone in my garden_ **

**_I found roses set on fire_ **

**_And I found Jesus, what a liar_ **

**_So I trade licks with Muddy Waters_ **

****

**_And I, well I found what's best for me_ **

**_And now I see no tragedy_ **

**_And I, I found a burning rose_ **

**_And now I won't be packing little pistols_ **

**_No, no, no more_ **

“Riza?”

He sounded so concerned as she’d fallen silent. She was still trying to find the right words to say. It was a struggle, and it showed on her face as she grimaced.

A part of her felt like she didn’t deserve to ask, not after what she’d unleashed upon the world with her father’s alchemy. However, it _needed_ to be done. She had the power to prevent another Flame Alchemist from coming to life. She had to use it.

“Before we do, can…” The request died on her tongue. She knew as soon as the words were out there, they’d be interpreted, either in the right or wrong way. She’d need to explain herself. She’d probably need to result in _begging_ him to burn the research off her skin.

“What, Riza?”

His voice so soft. It contradicted the harsh environment out here and the horrors she was subjected to by those she worked for. It was unfair. It was one step closer to making her lose it.

“Can you burn his research off my back?”

Her request was almost silent. She hated to speak the words aloud, to subject him to that, but she needed to. She trusted no one else. She _had_ no one else. She was alone without him. Flame alchemy couldn’t live on. Not after it had been stolen by the wrong hands – the Amestrian military. Both she and Roy were young and naïve. They were idealistic and stupid. At first, she’d been furious at him because of their actions. Then, Riza began to listen. Around the camps she heard things…

No one paid attention to snipers. After all, it was her job, her speciality, at becoming unseen. It meant she heard a lot of things that people probably didn’t want her to. She saw a lot of things through a scope that people thought were hidden.

_“Extermination Mission 4. Women and children in this sector.”_

_“Mission 18. All warrior monks. Strong bastards. We’ll need to double up on men. If half end up dead, we’ll be laughing. They’re so damn strong.”_

_“Extermination Mission 20 was a raging success. Got them all with only ten casualties!”_

Riza would pull no punches. If this was the way the Amestrian military, her _superiors_ , were conducting themselves, then Riza would rise to the challenge. They’d rue the day they decided to give her a rifle and drill it into her to fight the enemy. Because the enemy didn’t have red eyes and brown skin. No, the _true_ enemy, the person who’d stolen everything from her – her innocence and her best friend – only had one eye.

“Are you in?” she choked out.

A hand was placed on her shoulder. Comforting. She didn’t want it. Didn’t deserve it.

“Is this what you truly want?” Roy asked. His voice shook and she felt his fingers trembling through her clothes.

“I do,” she whispered.

“I…”

“Please.” Her plea made her voice crack as she lifted her eyes heavenward. “I don’t have anyone else.”

“I’ll… I’ll have to… _burn_ you –”

“You’ll free me,” she countered.

“I’ll maim you, Riza.”

“You’ll remove the burden from my back.”

Roy was clearly struggling with this. His breaths were heavy as he tried to find a way out of it – out of hurting her – but came up with nothing.

“I hate to ask this of you. I _really_ do, but there’s no one else. And I know you’ll do the best job.”

“Riza… You’re asking me to _burn off the skin_ of the woman I love.”

Dropping her eyes from the heavens, Riza saw his eyes were watering just like hers.

“I… I need more time to think –”

Her shoulders dropped in defeat. Two hands were placed upon them. Roy dipped his head, trying to catch her eye.

“I understand how much this means to you. I’m sorry, it’s just… a difficult request to process.”

“I know,” she mumbled.

“It’s not as simple as burning flesh.” Riza saw him swallow. “I’ll have to calculate it properly, make sure I don’t do too much damage –” He cut himself off and his jaw clenched. The grip on her shoulders loosened, his hands slipping off them. “I’ll need a little time to think about everything. I’m… I’m sorry it driven you to this –”

“ _They_ twisted you into this thing,” she interrupted fiercely. Roy looked taken aback by her sudden ferocity, and one tear fell as he blinked in surprise. “They gave you no choice.” Her breath hitched as her voice faltered on that last statement. Of course they had a choice. _Of course they fucking did_ , but they’d get nowhere, they’d never prevent this from happening again if they walked away. Riza was ready to lay down her life to protect the future. She was read to give everything up if it meant her children would never know this horror she was experiencing.

She was more than fucking ready.

“It will always be your choice, Riza,” Roy whispered. “I couldn’t take that away from you. Not after what I’ve done.”

Her arms wrapped around his body tightly. She buried her face in front of his dusty coat. The smell she remembered from her childhood enveloped her. It made her feel safe. It made her happy. If she closed her eyes tightly, she could almost imagine them back in the garden of her childhood home, playing happily, but quietly, so they didn’t disturb her father.

A sob left her throat unwillingly as the pressure of his arms eventually wrapped around her shoulders and back. It was a reassuring weight. It was freeing. Roy’s presence, and his acceptance, meant she would never be alone in this, and neither would he. She was happy to join his fight because she would be by his side.

“If we survive…” she ventured. “After the war?” Her expression was hopeful as she glanced back up at him. His face screwed up in pain.

“All right,” he finally agreed.

 _They better be ready_ , Riza thought. Because they would be coming at their enemy with more than the shitty pistols they distributed at the weapons centre. Bradley’s orders had moulded them into killing machines.

Riza hoped he would be ready for them. _Both_ of them. Because Riza Hawkeye and Roy Mustang were ready to unleash hell upon him. Together, Riza was sure there would be no stopping them.


End file.
